Sabbath

Suggested listening: “It is Well” by MercyMe

“My presence will go with you,
And I will give you rest.”
~Exodus 33:14~

This Lenten season, I am focusing on a different kind of fast. I am trying to pay attention to the wrestling places within me and give them rest. I give space to acknowledge those points without hastening to provide an immediate fix or response, because the frenzy of this kind of obsession neutralizes my desire for peace. It destroys my inner capacity for rest of soul.

Instead, I am considering how to shift my perspective from productivity to presence, as Alicia Britt Chole writes in 40 Days of Decrease. When my conscience dregs up a memory that I am not proud of, or that the enemy wants to taunt me with by shaming me, I have started to provide pause for that memory but instead of hitting the replay button on the shame, I am releasing it to stay in the past.

When I release it to stay in the past, I can rest in the Father’s acceptance of me. I choose to not engage with the shame or embarrassment the enemy taunts me with; I choose not to micromanage a different outcome; I fast the obsession to make sure everyone is okay with me; I fast the attempt to control how others might feel toward me or my compulsion to correct their thinking or false narratives of a situation. I fast trying to fix the break in my heart or someone else’s heart. I can sit with the Lord in my grief, or with another person in their grief and be present with them in it, but I release the “fix-it” mentality. In doing so, I release fear and anxiety, because His presence provides Sabbath for my soul. The lyrics of the suggested song by MercyMe reflects this attitude of providing a sabbath for the soul:

Make it well with my soul
Don’t let me face this loneliness alone
Make it well with my soul
I need a peace that only heaven knows
Jesus, could you please
Just sit and cry with me
’Til I can sing
’Til I can sing … It is well with my soul …

Make it well with my soul
When the storm is raging, please don’t let me go
Oh, voice that calms the sea
Keep whispering to me
So I can sing
So I can sing … It is well with my soul

He is with you when you read that inflammatory email; he is with you when you are at the end of a false accusation; when you are in a dark valley, He is with you.

Psalm 23 iterates his withness with us, so that our souls can sabbath:

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside the still waters,
He restores my soul.
He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me.
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

When I was taking classes at a Deaf Bible school, the instructor taught us the transliteration of Psalm 23 in sign language, and it has been impressed on my spirit ever since:

The Lord is my shepherd; I have everything I need.
Your rod and staff; they train/discipline me.

What this simple perspective shift does is cause me to reverse the focus from what I don’t have and instead focus on what the Holy Spirit is doing within me through the hardship, disappointment, or chaos. I am in His training camp to discipline my spirit to hear his voice, attend to it, and surrender to His heartbeat for my life. I give pause to receive sabbath for my soul in that moment.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
For I am gentle and humble in heart,
And you will find rest your souls.”
~Matthew 11:28-29~

“I had always assumed that people I loved gave energy to me,
and people I disliked took it away from me.
Now I see that every act, no matter how pleasant or nourishing …
every gesture, every thought or touch, uses some life …
And so we are given a commandment:
Remember the Sabbath.
Rest is an essential enzyme of life, as necessary as air.”
~Sabbath, Wayne Muller~