Center

Suggested Listening: Center, by Charlie Hall and Matt Redman

“And He Himself existed and is before all things,
 and in Him all things hold together.”
~Colossians 1:17 AMP~

When I was a newlywed, I felt compelled to fill my days with productivity. An efficiently run day made me feel like I earned an “A” grade. I wouldn’t allow myself to sit and do nothing. Quiet time was a prescription for early morning hours, but I typically wouldn’t be caught pausing mid-stride during the day’s agenda. I was seduced into believing productivity—our culture’s prized commodity—should be my goal.

There is definitely value in organizing the day, as it helps with time management; after all, the school day where I taught was divided into neat portions, and I suppose it was natural to carry that over into my domestic sphere. The difference was that my life outside the classroom didn’t require an Individualized Education Plan. It didn’t demand that I provide scope and sequence to keep house. It was okay to surrender to a different flow, to break up the trance that productivity can enslave us with, the following false mantra resounding in the echo-chamber of the mind:

“It is all-important,
it must be done right away,
 it won’t get done without me,
 I cannot stop or it will all fall apart,
it is all up to me…”
~Wayne Muller~

On the contrary, this belief pattern places me at the center, and I have proven that I can’t always hold all things together. I am too often driven by the need to feel Useful, and I have had to break this pattern in order to welcome in a restored balance. I have needed to deconstruct my definition of Usefulness and reassign value to what I formerly would disdain as Uselessness or lack of productivity. Wayne Muller[1] conveys that an “unflinching uselessness” is an attribute of Sabbath.

“Just as the unborn child in the womb of its mother
silently receives an endless supply of nourishment,
warmth, and protection, so, during Sabbath time,
does the sweet womb of sacred rest enfold us,
nourish us, heal and restore us.”
~Muller, 212~

At the outset, uselessness feels counterintuitive, but only when we succumb to an unforced rhythm can our equilibrium start to feel balanced; only when we unclench the fist can we start to receive, and only when we allow an exhale can we inhale again. In Exodus 31:17, we read that “in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, and on the seventh day he rested and was refreshed.” This profound measure suggests that we too need to exhale, so that we might take our next creative inhale. A potter can coax a lump of clay only so far from its center before it collapses; if pushed too far toward the edge, it implodes. So it is when we think we can live our days too far from our Center.

When we make productivity our end goal, busyness sideswipes our mindfulness. The Chinese visual symbol for the word “busy” is formed with the characters for heart and death. In Japanese, the pictograph is again a combination of two words: the symbol for heart is compressed while the second is a symbol for lost or disappear, translating to “heart is lost” or “dying heart.”

Such a powerful metaphor! When we are too busy, we cannot attend to the needs of our heart space and cease being present to the heart space of those around us. We ourselves are so compressed by our own sphere of demands that we are in danger of losing ourselves. Thomas Merton sums it up as a frenzy that neutralizes peace, destroying our inner capacity for peace. “It destroys the fruitfulness of our own work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful” (Muller, p.3).

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion?
Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.
I’ll show you how to take a real rest.
Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
~Matthew 11:28-30 MSG~

Father, help us to lay aside worthless pursuits and instead be motivated to live our lives by Kingdom values and not by the dizzying demands of our consumer-driven culture. Help us exhale the tension and inhale your peace that we might be nourished by investing in relationships that matter. Help us keep centered in you.

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[1] Wayne Muller, Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives (New York: Bantam Books, 2000).